Amber’s wish
“I don’t want my thighs to touch anymore.”
Hearing those words from Amber, a slim but not skinny person at the weight loss camp on TV’s HUGE, transported me back almost two decades. I was in the audience listening to Naomi Wolf, author of the then newly published The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty Are Used Against Women.
Her presentation was a watershed event in my life.
I clearly remember the media images she flashed on the screen. One was a marketing ad for the slapstick comedy movie “Airplane”. It was a picture of the back of a woman’s legs, from the top of the thighs down to her calves and then to her feet in a pair of red spike heels. They were the type of legs Amber wanted – Amber and just about every other female who saw the ad at the time. They were slim, well-shaped with no fleshy thighs touching each other. No, they weren’t photoshopped. Worse. They were a man’s legs. Yep, women were drooling over and striving for a man’s legs – an impossible goal.
From then to now
If a character on a present day popular TV show is worrying about her thighs touching, how much change has really occurred in the past 20 years related to (a) media images of women’s beauty and self-worth and (b) media images and money spent by women to look like that image?
The beauty, diet, and cosmetic surgery (including related treatments such as Botox) industries have grown substantially, increasing in sales and profits since Wolf wrote her book. So does knowledge of a Beauty Myth and doctored images create change in people’s behavior?
Need a critical mass & time
Fortunately, there is now a wellspring of mainstream articles and blogs that talk about the unrealistic, negative aspects of the media images of beauty. The Girl Scouts, in partnership with Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty since 2002 added It’s Your Story, Tell It to their website, recognizing the power of “ordinary” girls telling their stories to impact other girls’ lives. They also worked with some heavy hitter models and created a video that recently went viral. .
So change is happening (even if it was slow in coming) related to beauty being equated with Kate Moss thin. It can be seen in the growing number of so-called plus-size models. Eventually, the standard media size of beauty could return to what the western world had in the 50′s, and 60′s when women models and celebrities had curves, flesh, hips and butts. (Sex symbol Marilyn Monroe was a size 14).
When this happens, the messages girls and women unconsciously take in about the need to be super thin will alter. But I worry that the marketing emphasis/message will simply change to something else women (and men) have to do to be good-looking. In fact, it already has.
Three off-the-top-of-my-head examples:
- A 28-year-old daughter of a friend referring to “wrinkles” on her forehead asked “Should I get Botox?”
- A Filipino teenage singer Charice Pempengco says she prepared for her debut on the hit TV show “Glee” by getting Botox and an anti-aging procedure “to look fresh on camera.” She’s 18 years old.
- There’s a billboard on Rt. 22 as I head west with a spherical red/pink design with black letters in the center saying: 32A. Below the optical illusion breast is written “You don’t have to live with this” with the name of a plastic surgeon group.
My wish
I wish for an end to one standard of beauty and that every person accepts their self-worth and the unique beauty of her or him self – because you don’t need to be fixed, since you’re not broken. Think of an art gallery lined row upon row with cookie cutter art. It’s boring, nothing interesting to see. Then you turn a corner and discover a room filled with individually made pieces of art, all different, all unique. This is where you choose to spend your time, lingering over each piece noticing its unique shape, color, design and form. Each piece has something different to offer you and the world. And so do you…just the way you are.
What’s your wish?
PS – and I’d love seeing a paradigm shift in our thinking and spending habits so huge that it breaks the back of the industries making profits by telling you and me that our bodies, ourselves, aren’t good enough.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Someone left a comment on my blog directing me to Operation Beautiful (http://operationbeautiful.com/) I really liked the idea. You should check it out. My daughter is very overweight but has a much more positive body image than I did at her age because I let her know she is beautiful for who she is. I wish I had some of that self confidence.
Ms. Moran, I went to the operationbeautiful site and really like what they’re doing. I must start carrying post-its in my purse. Thanks for suggesting it.
I wish for you Ms. Moran more self confidence because you too, like your daughter, are beautiful for who you are. Cherry
More great commentary on the need to counter all the media pressure and manipulation! Thanks for keeping the noise level high!
I love your analogy to the beauty displayes in art museums. You’re so right…everything from realistic to surrealist paintings that capture the essential beauty in all aspects of life, even the beauty in things that disturb.
I thought is was interesting that in the Girl Scout clip each one of those girls were trim and pretty in traditional ways. Hummm….!
Dawn,
RE: Girl Scout video – your pt. is well taken. They chose to use models – plus size models. Crazy that those women are considered plus size, but they’re not skinny or anorexic looking. They also represented a variety of skin colors, but I agree that it would have been nice to also see non-models, more everyday people.
I thought I’d chime in with at least one man’s opinion. Although I am attracted to long lean thin women I also find the women from the ’30′s, ’40′s and ’50′s to be absolutely beautiful! The hour glass figures of those days are gone and I miss them. Women should have curves. A lot of women might be surprised to learn that the majority of men like those hour glass figures more than a skeleton; even today. Even with my “fetish” of being attracted to thin, small breasted women, it is a fetish. Deep down inside there’s nothing more attractive than a curvaceous woman. Marylin Monroe, Jane Mansfield, Rosemary Clooney (especially when she wore that black dress in “White Christmas”), Ava Gardner, Marlene Dietrich, Lucille Ball, just to mention a few. Women…thin is not in, men still like curves so spread the word!
I too saw that bill board on US22 but I could have sworn it read 36A because when I saw it I thought to myself, why would anyone want to change that? Either way it’s not right and even as a man I was somewhat offended by the sign.
Anyway…my two cents for whatever it’s worth.
Thanks for chiming in Skip. You’re right it does say 36A, my mistake. But 36 or 32 only is about the circumference of body – the breast size issue is about cup size.
Have read a lot about men liking fleshier, more curvaceous women; it’s more about the women not liking themselves that way.
I second Dawn’s opinion about the great analogy Cherry! So very true … who wants to go to an art gallery and see cookie-cutter images over and over again? How very boring. As the GG video says, “it’s our differences that make us beautiful.”
Thanks Sharon. Good to hear from you, and thanks for your continuing support. Cherry
Cherry,
I would like to extend your comments to incorporate the “healthy” perspective into our paradigm shift – that we attempt to honor our bodies with a healthy approach to life…and that as we age, the wisdom of life becomes much more beautiful and important.
Sally,
Very well put and I agree completely. A healthy addition. Cherry
Great article, thanks for sharing this. I have subscribed to your RSS feed and am looking forward to reading more from you.
Keep up the good work and don’t stop posting please.
I also love the art gallery analogy. As someone who’s been aware of her thighs touching for as long as I can remember, I can only hope one day young girls can not even give it a thought. Posts like yours are certain to help make that change. Thank you.
Thanks Laini. I just read this morning about the increasing # of teens getting botox so it’s hard to imagine them not also thinking about their thighs. Sad, sad. And why are parents paying for botox for teens?