Choosing This Is Not Wasting Time
I hugged my younger self and apologized for being so impatient with her when she:
- ran late
- made mistakes
- picked the wrong men
- burned the roast
- wasted time
- over-watered the plants
- under-watered the plants
- bought more plants
- leaped before looking
- said yes when she wanted to say no
Now I know she was doing the best she could. Just as she is today.
What I Say To Myself Today
So these days when I wake up, before I leave the comfort of my bed, I express gratitude that I was given the gift of another day to be exactly who I am. And then I plan for the wild, raucous and glorious day ahead.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Oh, Cherry–just love the brevity and profundity. If I don’t struggle w impatience, I don’t know what addles my anxious mind…
Awesome. TY for normalizing this tendency.
Thanks Linda. I think most people are way too hard on themselves. As we learn patience with ourselves and our humanity, we increase patience towards other people as well. But you know that, Cherry
How i love this. In the spirit of your post, speaking to my younger self, I am sorry that I: did not see how beautiful you are; did not trust you when you ‘knew’ what needed to be done; said (thought) all those mean things about you; forced you into situations that were not good for you to please others (now I know they didn’t even care or notice); did not love you enough. Cherry, this is brilliant. It actually made me cry – in a good way.
Thank you Amy, your words mean a lot to me.
All of your apologies to your younger self also resonated and are needed for my younger self. So here goes: Dear Cherry’s younger self, I also apologize that I:
did not see how beautiful you are; did not trust you when you ‘knew’ what needed to be done; said (thought) all those mean things about you; forced you into situations that were not good for you to please others (now I know they didn’t even care or notice); did not love you enough.
Love to you Amy and to you Cherry, Cherry
Cherry this is so apropos. I love my inner child when she comes out to play. That’s the golden time, creative time for me. But sometimes she’s hiding or just unavailable and that’s when all the ‘should’ve’, ‘could’ve’, ‘would’ve’, grownup thoughts enter my psyche, along with frustration, fear, impatience, etc. etc.
Thank you so much for reminding me to seek out my inner child and embrasse all the beauty and wonder that comes into my life, especially friends like you.
Thank for Maxee for your kind and generous words.
I’m with you, when my true, core self comes out with the delightful untarnished child, I’m happier and more creative. I hope we get a chance some day to meet and play together – kids and all.
Amy,
Thanks for saying this. It struck a soft spot with me. I got a little teared up. Thanks Cherry for getting this much needed dialogue going.
Here’s mine. Dear younger self, I am sorry that I let myself believe you were not good enough.
Love to all, Lisa :)
Lisa,
I’m so happy for you that you now believe you are good enough. Let’s even nix the “enough” and just say you’re good. Love to you too, Cherry
Oh, I loved this!
I wish I could apologize to my younger self too. I wish I had ben able to appreciate who I was back then. And I love what you said about who we were back before we thought we had to be someone else.
Lisa,
Thank you. I think you’re recognition that you didn’t appreciate yourself enough back then is tantamount to an apology. Here’s caring and kindness to your younger self and to your present self. Cherry
love this! Sometimes I am nice to my younger self and to my current self. Sometimes, not so much.
I like your work so much so you’re loving this makes me happy.
I know, always being nice to ourselves can be difficult. But just keep doing it when you can Allison. As you’ve learned, the IT you were looking for is within you. Cherry
Lovely. I just shared this on my Facebook business page so other women can read it.
And I LOVE the word “raucuous”!
Ava, thanks for sharing it.
Yes, the word raucous is great. Reminds me of the rumbus from Where The Wild Things Are. (kid’s book if you’re not familiar with it.) Cherry
Great! Short! Sweet!
Yep! Thank! You!
Of course we know the book! :)
Great post. For me it would include:
* Didn’t convince you more is won with honey than confrontation
* pushed and pushed so couldn’t just enjoy the moment
* didn’t listen when you said let’s just play for a couple of years
* Let you make major decisions without thinking it through
* told you that you were fat
* didn’t value you enough
* Let others opinions matter so much to you.
Oh Daria, you’ve hit on some areas of apology that I can really relate to: body image, value and more. BE gentle with your today-self too. I see a very special woman. HUgs, Cherry
A beautiful breath of fresh air…a moment of pure release. Gosh, you have a gift for turning past experience into insights for the presence.
I apologize to my younger self for taking on things that needed to be done by my older self. Thanks for this wondrous moment! ~Dawn
Dawn you are so welcome. I’m glad it helped you create a wondrous moment for yourself and your younger self.
http://susurrus24.blogspot.com/
sometimes we run faster than impatience, and when we slow
slightly,
it slams into our back, knocks us down, and stands on us… stomping on us
in a dance
with arms raised victorious over our better judgement.
But stand good girl,
but stand, and brush off the now fluttering arms of impatience,
brush them from your face and look….and see….and breathe
….and then smile.
You’ve learned a trick! why you can teach an old dog new tricks!
Be kind to yourself, yes, be kind to yourself.
The time of super sonic speed, and super woman deeds, and super over inflated emergencies is past…….
and it….
….sits in the dust that you,
you, have created.
face forward, love of my life, yes I love you,
face forward and experience each and every moment,
each and every moment.
A gift, this moment, this life
look inside and see me
tell you, “You are a gift…to me, and I love you.”
Beautiful Mardene. Thank you for sharing this poem that speaks so well to loving ourselves. Cherry
I just love it when someone says a whole lot of things with a minimum of words.
You speak to alot of young and older women.
Thanks, I certainly want to be speaking to a lot of women.
I’m glad you took a break from shopping to read and comment. :)
Cherry, I thought I was the “only” one with dried up plant leaves on the floor and a pathetic looking withered plant screaming for water–horrified and thanking God I hadn’t forgotten to feed my children also, my younger self rushed to rescue the plant with water–so happy that it perked up, but very pissed that the water had overflowed on the wood floors and left a stain. I apologize to myself younger self and am now content with plants that have a finite life, or no inside plants at all.
Love these short posts that make me feel better, not unique (I had been kinda worried about the plant thing) and laugh all at the same time! Your wacky friend, Pam.
Pam,
RE: Plants and kids. My sons contend that I never cooked. How bad is that? They’re remembering the older teen years when I gave up on the idea that they were going to show up for meals – guess those were the underwatering years – and pointed to the frig and said “Food’s in there.”
Yea, floor stains were no fun. :) So glad to have you as a wacky friend, Cherry
This post really touched my heartstrings, and those of many others, judging by the no of comments. I can relate to the “saying yes when she should have said no.” the most. I still struggle with this sometimes. I get so fulfilled by empathy, connection, and being part of a community, yet don’t leave enough of me to be as present for my family as I would like. I can also relate to the plant thing. I get so busy and engaged in higher-level thought that I tend to forget the mundane day to day things and then get mad at myself.
It’s amazing how many young women pick the wrong men or hang on too long and take too much responsibility. I just think there are so many wrong men out there when you are young and not so many right ones, as women tend to mature faster.
Melanie,
Thanks for your comment. Saying yes when we mean no, is a common practice among many women and, as with you, it takes its toll.
You talked about the plants and higher level thought and that made me think of how difficult it can be to be in the present moment. I’m working on it and it’s a struggle.
Take care of yourself, Cherry
Hi Cherry, Just read this post from a new friend I recently started to follow on Twitter, Amy. For me it’s taken much work and wisdom on my part to accept all my mistakes as being truly a part of who I’m suppose to be. Today, I can consciously accept them, thank them and just not feed into the fear of not being good enough. Fear is a thought that I have control of. Fear does not make me the person I wish to become. Most importantly I am thankful every day for the power I have to guide my own light. Thank You for your wisdom and for sharing your thoughts. Gloria
You are welcome Gloria. I appreciate that you came by and shared part of your story. I think that helps all of us. It’s wonderful to hear that fear no longer controls you. Life is so much freer and you have more energy because it’s not sapped by fear.
I hope to hear from you again and keep on taking care of yourself. Cherry
Oh, Cherry, what a delightful post! Just loved the images it produced in my head of you embracing that inner child of yours, letting her honestly know you have awakened to appreciating what really has value in life, your relationship with you in the past and you in the present. It seems to me this is one of the most precious relationships to heal — so celebrating with you now waking each morning to greet the day with gratitude! Thanks for the sheer joy… : )
Athena,
You are welcome for the sheer joy and I’m happy to read that you will be celebrating the waking of each morning with me.
Embracing our inner child is so important for our healing and growth. Cherry
So Beautiful Cherry – as always – it is indeed a lovely thing when we can embrace, celebrate & giggle at our humanness….
Kris,
I am SO-O grateful that I can giggle at my humanness most of the time. It makes life so much easier and more fun. Cherry
Hi Cherry – What a wonderful post! Yes I often think back to my younger self and wish I had been more …something…caring, wiser……loving towards myself back then!
So this post of yours strikes home! To my younger self, I wish I had valued you more and realized how beautiful you were! Hmm, yes Cherry, I guess the same applies to the present day….thank you.
Have a pleasant day.
Yes Kathy it still applies today. I hope for each of us that 5 or 10 or more years from now we don’t look back on ourselves today (what will then be our younger selves) and have to forgive ourselves for our impatience.
You are valuable and beautiful, Cherry