It’s 9:16 p.m. on Thursday and I haven’t written my Thursday post. I have all sorts of reasons, explanations and excuses but, bottom line, it isn’t written. I’m not being too hard on myself, but I’m also not happy with myself.
Here’s what I’m proposing for myself and for any of you who are not pleased with some of the things you did or didn’t do in this past week.
1. Write the list of all the things you are mad at yourself about, ashamed about or just not pleased with.
2. Read through the list and acknowledge them. Breathe in all the feelings that go with the list. Feel them, rather than trying to distract yourself from the feelings with TV, or the internet or busyness or alcohol.
3. Breathe out forgiveness for yourself for being human.
4. Set your list aside. Let it be part of the past.
5. Start anew, with a clean slate. It’s another week. A fresh start. Spend your energy on doing the best you can this week rather than wasting time in the past on guilt and shame.
6. I’ll do the same. Join me in a new beginning each and every week.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Thanks, I actually needed that permission today. It goes along with what I have read in my newest, favorite book, The Traveler’s Gift. Constructive thoughts, never destructive will lead to solutions for the future. My life will not be an apology; it will be a statement. So let’s not let the past steal our present–I am with you all the way, Cherry!
Thanks Pam, happy to be on the same path as you.
Problem solving is definitely about constructive thoughts. OK, here’s the problem, now what do we do about it? Recriminations and blame is such a waste of energy and not helpful with solutions. Cherry
Great idea with new beginnings. I am with you. When I have a bad day I write it off and remind myself that tomorrow is a new day.
I will write a shorter post this week. Short seem to be very powerful.
Thanks Cherry for your reminder.
You’re welcome Irene. I think we all need reminders from time to time of things our rational mind knows but we can lose sight of when weighted down by the trappings of emotions.
A brief but powerful and useful post. I had a day on friday in which i kept spinning my wheels & misplacing things. Felt very frustrated with myself, but today I realized it was mostly tiredness and gave myself a mental break. The trickier thing is when your family wants your presence and you need down time. You might forgive yourself, but it may be harder for them to understand. That’s the struggle for me.
Yes, Melanie being gentler with yourself in all aspects of life is beneficial.
I know what you mean about family members not necessarily understanding or accepting your need for downtime. For me, it was that I had contributed to raising that expectation because I was “available” so much of the time but then I couldn’t be. Or perhaps I should say that I saw how irritable I was by not taking downtime. So many areas suffered.
Wonderful idea!! New week new start. All smiles :)
Thanks for this post. real succinct and simple. I needed this reminder. Just breathe and forgive and start again. Just get on up again!
Wow – I can so relate to Melanie’s dilemma. It’s the one that almost always kicks my ass. Getting that down time when the girls are asking for my time on the weekends. The way it has been working lately is they get a good chunk of Saturdays but I get Sundays. It’s peanut butter and jelly or eggs! :)
I think pb&j is wonderful for all. I would have said eggs too but I don’t like eggs so…
Love the blankness and the starkness here–packs a powerful message, Cherry. As I’m writing this, I am feeling guilty for not walking the Husky pup, who’s whimpering on the front porch…Too many responsibilities over the weekend, so I’m taking a mental health day today.
I definitely relate to the other commentators about feeling the guilt when the family pulls at you. But hey, it’s not like we all don’t feel that way, right?
I like your idea of setting aside the list. Mine will be no more than five line items, deep for today…
I also appreciate shorter posts. This has inspired me to be less wordy:), which will free up some time.
TY!
You’re welcome and thank you. Congratulations on taking a mental health today. It makes it so much easier to be present with the family , and like, after we’re rested.
Love it! I use this with my quest to lose weight, but hadn’t considered expanding it to all of me. Great idea.
Another great post…love the straight-forward format and call to action–exactly what we need when we’re berating ourselves–something constructive to do.
Overcommitting is a disease that so many of us succumb to. We overcommit and then set performance standards (quality, deadlines, satisfaction rating) that turn a job-done into a blot on our “perfection” scale. We just have to give it and ourselves a rest.
Hardly anyone else is as hard on us as we are. Most of the stuff we fret about doesn’t even matter. The best advice in most cases is just to fuggedaboudit! ~Dawn