Question for a Leader
Seth Godin had a recent post entitled Seven Questions For Leaders. His second question was:
What do you do with people who disagree with you… do you call them names in order to shut them down?
This particular question struck me as being related to the work I do with women.
Too often women get stuck, or shut down as Godin says, because of the names their “leader” or inner shrew calls them such as:
- Procrastinator
- Lazy
- Crazy
- Emotional
- Not-good-enough
- Not-smart-enough
Name-calling and negative labels by your inner shrew/critic shut down the real “worker” part of you:
~ that wants to speak up
~ that wants to move a project forward
~ that wants to try something innovative
~ that wants to be your own boss
Stage A Protest
It’s time for you to become a sign-carrying protester and unseat the inner shrew as leader. Take pieces of cardboard, poster board or sheets of paper and write-out your protests against a shrew-leader that is shutting you down and keeping you stuck.
Use your protest sign as a vision board and display it where you can see it to remind yourself and the shrew who’s in-charge. Be the kind of self-leader you want to see in the world.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
More great shrew-quieting advice! We do need to give ourselves a break. There are times when I hear myself call myself a name, like when I misplace something, make a mess because I’m not paying attention, or just lazing about when there’s work to be done. When I hear those shrew words come out of my mouth, I actually start laughing. I guess mocking the shrew to shut her up works too!
Laughing at the shrew can definitely quiet her Dawn. I think the ability to laugh at ourselves is a powerful trait to have. Jen Gresham and Melanie Greenberg both had recent posts about resiliency and, I believe, that not taking ourselves so seriously is a component of resiliency. Cherry
Laughing at the shrew can definitely quiet her Dawn. I think the ability to laugh at ourselves is a powerful trait to have. Jen Gresham and Melanie Greenberg both had recent posts about resiliency and, I believe, that not taking ourselves so seriously is a component of resiliency. Cherry
I like this post Cherry, and don’t mind that it is short, because it is to the point. I laugh at my inner critic when I can. Mostly I ask him (for some reason it is a him) to be so kind to shut up! Writing down on signs is a great idea. I made a poster years ago, decorated it with glitter (I am not the artist in the family) but anyway, it cheered me up everyday cooking and slaving in the kitchen.
Thanks Irene. It’s always interesting to find out what someone else’s critic looks like or sounds like. Who knows why one person has a man and another person has a woman…but as a therapist I bet you could have a hayday with that. (do you know that expression?)
Also posters are wonderful, especially if we can keep ourselves from concern about not being an artist. I recently made one about prosperity. No glitter on it, but now that you mentioned it, I think I’ll go out and purchase some to make my poster sparkle. Cherry
As in “the needle in the haystack”?
I think my critic is a masculine unconscious character as in Jung’s Animus. When unconscious it is usually more negative. When conscious we can better deal with it.
Interesting tendency we have to shut down our inner leader. Think what would happen if we treated others in the workplace the same way we talk to ourselves…ugh!
I make “posters” in the manner of post-it notes to remind myself to be the leader that I want to be. If you accept your flaws, you’ll be less-likely to project this negativity onto others, and the overall work environment is less hostile.
I like to say that I can’t afford to be unhappy at work–I spend too much time there every week. I think it comes down to protecting our precious mental energy. And the inner-shrew position is definitely on the chopping block in this economic client:).
TY, Cherry.
Linda,
It is true that we spend so much time at work & it would be awful to have the inner critic/shrew working OT there.
Glad you can silence that voice. Cherry
Hi Cherry,
Love the inner shrew label and also the suffragette picture. It’s good to remember those brave women to whom we owe our current freedom. I was raised in South Africa, which was a sexist as well as racist society. It did emphasize family life though, which was one positive. I know my inner shrew is related to this cultural influence. It’s all about not being a good enough housekeeper. I tend to be somewhat erratic in home organization, and we’ve downsized and moved twice in two years, which doesn’t help.
Anyway, posters are a good idea or just telling it to take a walk, which is what I tend to do as I make another cup of tea and go back to writing….then run around tidying in a mad rush at the last minute. Hmmm! Maybe my inner shrew is actually trying to help me out. Next time, i’ll ask if it can rephrase what it’s trying to say so I can hear it better.
Hi Melanie,
I’d like to hear the re-phrasing you come up with.
So you were raised in South Africa, were you also born there? What took your family there and what took them back here? Cherry
Love the name “inner shrew.” I think it really helps to give that inner negative part of you a name, whether it’s gremlin, shrew, voice of doom, or whatever. It helps to see that the shrew part isn’t the whole part. And we can choose to listen to our shrew or ignore her. Great, thought provoking post!
Thanks Katie. I like inner shrew too because of Shakespeare “taming” of the shrew. We can do it too!
Yes, the inner “shrew” or critic…the one that keeps trying to get me to stop my projects and give up! Well, I’m not going to give up! Perseverance! I love vision boards! I made on just last week…. before I read this…I think I will jazz it up some!