from imjustcreative.com
“Often the pain of resisting makes us rust like iron, and in order to re-enter the flow of life, we need to be scraped back to our original surface.” Mark Nepo in “The Book of Awakening”
Scraped back to our original surface – our delightful, juicy, all-that-you-need-to-be surface.
It’s easy to forget that the original of you is what you want to get back to. It’s not about creating a new you. It’s about removing the protective layers of rust scrapings that you’ve built up because of:
- what others have told you to be or
- what you thought you were supposed to be
- who you chose to be in order to feel safe
As my new friend, for whom I am so grateful, Ashley Inzer says “You have been taking care of yourself the best way you knew how.”
Congratulations to you. Taking care of yourself takes strength and a terrific sense of survival. There was beauty, as you can see in the photograph, in covering your pain with rust.
What I know from working with other women, and from my own life, is that resisting and hiding who you are also takes a huge amount of energy.
What I Learned Not To Be (Do any sound familiar?)
I was taught that it was bad to wear my heart on my sleeve so I resisted doing so and tried to hold my feelings inside.
In school I learned that being silly and giggling were not good things so I tried to stop laughing.
When I was passionate many people stopped engaging in conversation with me, so I worked at being bland and abiding by life’s dichotomy of good and bad.
The protective armor of rust I built served me for many years. But at some point it stopped serving me and simply became a weight that slowed me down and kept me from what I really wanted to do.
What I Learned In The Autumn Of My Life
Now, and for years, I spend my time unlearning the limiting beliefs that I had, such as the overly simplistic construct of good and bad. I now know there are very few objective truths.
I’ve been joyously scraping back to my original surface: a happy, rosy cheeked child/adult who finds humor in the darkest of moments, who finds joy in playing in the mud, who revels in schmaltzy and who loves easily.
Who is your wonderful original self? Who is the person you were before you thought you should be someone else? Let her shine.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Just so.
Passion is good; not holding back is liberating; why is it the more ‘life’ weary we become we realize ‘what the hell’ I don’t care what people think? Maybe because as we mature life teaches us what is really important and what really is no big deal.
In the big scheme of things, life is short; always live it to its fullest with no regrets.
Yes, this seems easier for the men than the women because they are expected to ‘act’ a certain way, but good for you; knock off that rust. Just be happy with yourself and everything else will take care of itself.
Nice article, I enjoyed the read.
Thank you Bill for your comments and compliment.
Granted, overall I write for a female audience and there are areas where I think men have an advantage over women. By the same token, women have some over men. But when it comes to “acting” a certain we, there are clear expectations for men as well as women. Either way, getting older does make a difference in terms of caring what other people think.
So glad you stopped by, Cherry
See, like a magnet; of course I would be drawn to your site. Half of my ‘girl’ friends think I’m just one of the girls………….yikes. In my mind, I’m George Clooney…….:).
It’s good to see you are still getting responses.
Marvelous! I love this line from some management guru whose name I’ve forgotten: “What we resist, persists.” You speak to that.
What an inspiring line when you write about how the rust “stopped serving me and simply became a weight that slowed me down.” So true for most of us.
To scrape off the rust takes courage. We may know what lies underneath but have fear of it. How do we go back and reclaim? What will we do with the new found freedom? The status quo is much easier on us day to day. It’s just not a good long term investment. What we resist does,though, persist! Thanks for this lovely post. ~Dawn
Seems crazy, and yet I understand and agree, that it takes courage to scrape off the rust. I disagree that the status quo is easier on us day to day but I think that’s what we believe. It is at least familiar and in that regard comfortable.
Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful and thought provoking comments. Cherry
How nicely put! I was so covered over with the “rust” I developed horrible joint pain and could barley move. It an effect you so deeply that you can become physically ill. I know now that there are no “supposed to be’s” in life. Live true to yourself and to what is in your heart regardless of what others tell you that you are are supposed to be. Life is delicious….Eat it up!
And Dorothy that is a delicious comment, thank you so much. I am so glad you are feeling better and no longer wear physical pain rust. Hugs to you, Cherry
First, the title of this blog post deserves an award! Truly.
I guess what struck me the most is that it seems the protective layers start to pile on when we are so very young and that’s sad. Enthusiasm and yes, laughter, get squashed and “the new” serious, cautious, emotionless and unpassionate you emerges. For some the layers may become a permanent makeover, which is sadder yet.
Growth, personal development and discovery has helped me chip away at my rust, or shed my skin revealing the original version of myself. That person is allowed to be different, to dream incredible dreams, laugh hysterically, and be totally encouraging of the dreams and aspirations of all.
Thanks for sharing–A great topic, beautifully illustrated!
~Pam
Oh sweetie I agree with you completely – it is sad that our childlike, youthful enthusiasms get squashed. And the rust staying permanently sadder still.
SO-O glad you’re laughter is out there and alive and well. I certainly know I enjoy it! Hugs to you my friend, Cherry
When people ask me “What was your favorite age?” I usually answer ten years old. “Why is that?” It was the last time I felt truly light and free.
Yikes! That’s a long time ago. So I am on a mission to get back to that feeling. Similar to the scraping back to the original surface, I think of the return as an uncovering, a peeling off of layers. I want to feel like ten again. Even if it is ten multiplied by 5 or 6 or 7… Light, fairly worry-free, content. I am getting close. I sing out loud if the song moves me. Sometimes I shake my booty, too! I am silly much more and laugh much louder. :)
I think I embarrass my children some times. Sadly, that probably means they are starting to cover up, to rust.
I love this so much! There’s a quote I use (but I don’t remember who wrote it) that talks about this. “We’re all perfect at our core, our patterns of behavior have hidden this perfection like the clouds over the sun.” I’m mangling the quote, but that’s the idea. It’s so true we get some many “lessons” in how/who to be that we forget who we are.
Katie,
Another great quote. I see all the lessons my granddaughter is getting and she needs to learn certain things but what layer of rust is she also building as she interprets the meanings of the lessons and corrections. And my son and daughter-in-law are doing the best that they know how – as we all do.
Hi,
I love this! I came over from Twitter and I’m glad I did. I love that quote and I’m going over to Amazon to buy the book today.
Thanks Tess The Bold. I, too, am glad you came over. See you on Twitter, Cherry