from http://ht.ly/4CoKH
Read. Each. Word. It’s. A. Way. To. Slow. Yourself. Down. And. Give. Your. Mind. A. Much. Needed. Break.
Over-stimulation causes stress.
Racing through activities and tasks (like skimming blog posts) in order to progress to the next thing on your list makes you anxious.
The expression “Take time to smell the roses” is a powerful statement about slowing down, being present, enjoying the moment and focusing on what you’re doing.
Focusing reduces errors, rework & increases pleasure.
Ever notice that it’s when you’re frazzled or jumping from one task to another, that you lose the folder you needed or the keys to drive to your next appointment?
Your folder or keys aren’t the only thing you miss when trying to accomplish several activities at one time. It could be the joy and questions of a young child, as it seemed to be for the parent I saw on a cell phone while holding his child’s hand for a “nice” outing at the playground. (Think The Cat’s In the Cradle by Harry Chapin)
Note To Self
Last week I heard another person say that getting cancer was the best thing that ever happened to him. His vulnerability and inevitable death became real to him.
- It forced him to slow down.
- He reassessed the priorities in his life.
- He started to play as well as to work.
- He stopped to smell the roses on a glorious sunny day before he walked into the building for his meeting.
My life time was always limited, but now that I’m 61 years old the reality of death is more apparent. I don’t want cancer or another disease to be the reason I give up my “shoulds” and live the life I really want. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life but consistently said I had no regrets about my choices. Now I’m not so sure.
What about you? Are you living the life you want? Are you prioritizing things in a way you won’t regret later?
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Cherry – great reminder not to lose sight of what matters in life. It can pass us all by so quickly as we discussed last week.
Dorothy
Dorothy,
Yes, this post is reminiscent of last week. There’s been a number of things lately, such as our discusssion, that are causing me to reflect on my present life.
Thanks for stopping by and hope all is well with you, Cherry
A comforting start to your post! I’m a slow reader because I like to see every word. That said, there has been too much in life that I rushed through to get to something I deem more important…and the beat goes on!
What I like about you message is its link to introspection, something we need to slow down to do. That’s where all our reliable realizations and insights come from–those awarenesses that help to mute the stress. A great post…and I read every word! ~Dawn
Dawn,
Glad to hear you read every word. :) I think of myself as introspective but, apparently, not always that way.
Thanks for great comment.
Great title, Cherry. It’s amazing how we’re all so aware that we need to slow down and smell the life experiences passing us by, yet we spin like hamsters on a wheel (I always found it interesting that it resembles a clock…;)).
Just this morning, I dropped my son off at school, and I was driving home and reflecting about how kindergarten seemed like a few months, and not years, ago…
So glad you mentioned the cell-phone wielding parent at the playground…this topic makes its way into the therapy room moreso these days, as young children and teens complain about mom and dad tethered to the PDA.
Thank you for this awesome and sage reminder.
Thanks Linda. I hadn’t thought about the PDA-tethered parent being a topic for therapy but it makes complete sense. My house is 1/2 block from a playground so I see parents walking there with their small children and I bet about half of the parents are on the phone during the walk and time at the playground.
How can the parents see that as spending time with their kid?
My older son will be 29 this week and, like you, I wonder how the years flew by.
Cherry,
I am also glad you mentioned the cell phone thing. The other day, I barely caught a toddler as he was toddling right out of the shopping cart. Yep, mom was chatting away on the cell phone while shuffling through the products on the shelves and didn’t even see him start to fall. Oh my gosh, it was a close call. I poked her shoulder and she looked at me rather startled. (Still had the phone to her ear.) I said, “Your kid almost fell out of the cart. Put the damn phone away!” Her expression was a combination of being confused and fairly perturbed. (I love being me! – although my son was embarassed.:)
Part of our busyness is that we have developed the habit of doing many things at the same time. It seems to be a badge of honor these days. I mean can we really just sit for a minute and do nothing? No, no, no!
But we really can’t be with our child and talking with our friend and shopping all at the same time and do them well, can we? Except the parts that are on automatic. In this instance, I would have to say the chatting on the cell phone was the automatic part. And I have to say that parenting – not so much.
A big part of slowing down and enjoying life is to choose to do one thing at a time and really experience it. It hard to do if you have gotten yourself hardwired to this multitask thing. But I will tell you, what’s harder yet is looking back and wondering where the time went. It “fell out the cart” you when weren’t paying attention.
Lisa,
Wow, frightening story. I agree that chatting on a cell phone had become automatic. When I first bought one I swear I would open the car door and think Who can I call? Aside from laws against cell phones and driving I found:
~ I wasn’t as aware of my driving
~I wasn’t enjoying silence & the scenery or NPR or simply music that made me happy and forget cares and woes.
In some ways we feel more connected with people because call call anywhere any time of day and place but we’re also less connected as we ignore those around us and even at lunch with. Cherry
A super reminder, Cherry, to slow down and smell the roses. Phone is going off–in the store, in the car, at the play ground, the restaurant, the movies, here there and everywhere. All the noise is insanity…some peace and quiet sounds wonderful. Thanks!
~Pam
YOu are welcome Pam. I think we need to “turn off” now and then, it is better for our mental and physical health. Some people have difficulty believing that but research shows that to be true, as does my life experience. Cherry
Though our bodies spin cancer and other diseases for reasons we may never understand, I do believe these afflictions bring ‘gifts’. But the cancer isn’t the gift – cancer sucks; pain hurts; suffering is not a cause for celebration. The gift is awareness: awareness that we have lived our life off-kilter, out of balance and, as you so eloquently point out, far too fast. As a magazine editor, I have written countless stories of people who, after falling ill, regained a sense of perspective that transformed their lives. Where once they were competitive, bitter, selfish they became loving, tender, and fully present.
What I love about this post is your assertion that we can become aware BEFORE getting another disease – we can slow down and enjoy life now. And though we may get cancer – or get hit by a car – anyway, we will have had THIS – this moment, lived slowly with full presence.
Beautiful response Amy. Thank you.
YOur distinction that it is not the cancer that is the gift but the awareness that comes with it is an important one. Thank you.
It can be difficult to create this awareness prior to a life-altering diagnosis or incident but it’s definitely possible. As you might say, “Take time and listen for the angels. ” Hugs to you, Cherry
I find it sad and humorous that in American culture we’re as likely to busy ourselves finding books and resources on HOW to slow down rather than on actually DOING NOTHING…..actually slowing down and not for bragging rights, but for an inner recentering.
I think as a parent of young kids, they can be exhausting, and the Smart Phone can be more engaging, interesting, and not as draining. That said, I don’t have anything (no emails, FB, Tweets) auto-pushed to my phone, which means the only noise I get is the rare text from my husband, or an actual rare phone call (usually from my husband.) It definitely puts me a bit more in the driver seat!
Elizabeth,
Inner re-centering is important.
Children can be draining and wanting adult connection is important. By the same token connection with our children is important and smartphones & adults can be draining. We need to be aware of the choices we’re making and consider priorities.
Thanks for chiming in! Cherry
I find it sad and humorous that in American culture we’re as likely to busy ourselves finding books and resources on HOW to slow down rather than on actually DOING NOTHING…..actually slowing down and not for bragging rights, but for an inner recentering.
I think as a parent of young kids, they can be exhausting, and the Smart Phone can be more engaging, interesting, and not as draining. That said, I don’t have anything (no emails, FB, Tweets) auto-pushed to my phone, which means the only noise I get is the rare text from my husband, or an actual rare phone call (usually from my husband.) It definitely puts me a bit more in the driver seat!
Great post on a very important topic. We’re all so busy checking things off our list that we forget what is most important in life. Sometimes when I walk my dog in the am, I try to leave my cellphone behind and be present with the trees, clouds, creek, misty hills etc. Works like a charm to recharge and energize me. Now it’s a matter of making this a weekday routine.
Melanie,
You can do it! Leave the cell phone at home everyday on your work. As you stated, you feel better, are energized so you’re helping yourself, your family and your biz with a re-charged you.
Good luck, Cherry
Hi Cherry – Great topic. I worked in a Cancer Center for four years. So many people there re-assessed their lives after the diagnosis and the treatment. It changed me in an extreme way. I listened more, and really appreciated my life more and just every single day (altho I always have, but more so). But also taught me just how thin the safety net is in this country. If you become ill you can be bankrupted very easily. So all of those things we buy are not so important. But the positives I saw were ppl really dignified in their treatments and determined to keep living their lives for & with their loved ones. thanks for the reminder.
Kathy,
You’re welcome. It sounds like you learned many lessons working in a Cancer Center. It is so-o unfortunate that in a Western Country one can be bankrupted by the costs of treatment. A cousin of a neighbor of mine is now living with them because he ended up homeless after (a) he couldn’t work because of his lung cancer and treatment and (b) the non-covered costs of treatment.
But it is a complex issue and I think there needs to be hard questions asked and answered about treatments for illness.
Such an important reminder. I did read your post slow and felt guilty for all the time I skim stuff. Learned in school to get everything done. So we have to learn to skip some tasks and prioritize. I don’t want to get sick for me to slow down and smell the roses.
Had a reminder today from a clients telling me that she is devastated loosing her job and at the same time relieved because it was the best thing for her needing to slow down.
Irene,
What a great example you gave – the mixed bag of feelings and realities that come from losing, what I assume, was a stressful job. Good time to rest, but financial issues loom. Cherry
Hi Cherry,
Great title. It always depresses me a little when I see people out walking or riding a bike with a cell phone attached, or even worse a parent talking on the phone or texting instead of playing with their child. Slowing down from time to time is so important. I don’t want to look back on my life and realize that I sent 80 gazillion texts, but missed out on the really good stuff.