da-da-da-da-da-da-active NOT listening
This was me earlier this morning. I did not want to listen to my friend tell the same negative story for the 23rd time. So I covered my ears and chanted da-da-da-da until she stopped the broken record and moved on to a new topic.
Not one of my more mature responses but it worked. She knows how I feel. Over the course of the past two years I’ve politely asked her to stop repeating the same story. She’s politely stopped…for awhile.
I then told her a couple more times that I couldn’t listen to the same narrative again. It’s in the past and everything that’s been said about it has been said.
I listened 22 times before and today I was not doing it again.
Listening to negativity, especially a repeat of the same complaint, wears me down.
Telling the same story cranks her up and she relives what happened almost two years ago.
Neither of us wants to re-live it, so today I took drastic measures.
~Fortunately, she’s a good friend who knows that the intent of my puerile behavior was not to hurt her.
~Fortunately, she knows that she has a tendency to beat a dead horse.
Part of our relationship is helping each other grow to get beyond old habituated behaviors that no longer serve us.
Maybe her lesson to me, when next we see each other, will be to grow up. I’ll let you know.
What do you do when someone’s story is taking a toll on you?
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Love it! Sometimes we have to resort to the ridiculous :) I can just hear you “da-da-da-da can’t hear you…”
Katie,
Thankfully it worked without becoming a problem between us. That being said, we’re such good friends we would have worked that out too. Cherry
sadly, i have a SIL who does this all the time. she’s auntie wet-blankie. we’ll listen a few times, but then we just change the subject. keep it positive. it’s a challenge! :)
Glad changing the subject works. It can be difficult for all of us to keep it positive but life is so much better when we do. Cherry
I’m with you on this, Cherry. If only you also had a sock to stick in her mouth…a clean one, of course. Lucky her, though, since what you tried to do was break the cycle. There have been studies that show that venting our spleens only keeps the past in the present. The sooner we stop reliving negatives, the sooner they will fade enough so that positives can replace them.
There are people though who brand themselves by their negative stories, using them for attention, sympathy, etc. That’s a whole other complicated scenario. For now, I like the sound of the rhythmic “da.” ~Dawn
I wish I could do that to myself sometimes! I really need to forget bygones and give myself some happy replacements….I love your stories. :)