Scraped back to our original surface – our delightful, juicy, all-that-you-need-to-be surface.
It’s easy to forget that the original of you is what you want to get back to. It’s not about creating a new you. It’s about removing the protective layers of rust scrapings that you’ve built up because of:
- what others have told you to be or
- what you thought you were supposed to be
- who you chose to be in order to feel safe
As my new friend, for whom I am so grateful, Ashley Inzer says “You have been taking care of yourself the best way you knew how.”
Congratulations to you. Taking care of yourself takes strength and a terrific sense of survival. There was beauty, as you can see in the photograph, in covering your pain with rust.
What I know from working with other women, and from my own life, is that resisting and hiding who you are also takes a huge amount of energy.
What I Learned Not To Be (Do any sound familiar?)
I was taught that it was bad to wear my heart on my sleeve so I resisted doing so and tried to hold my feelings inside.
In school I learned that being silly and giggling were not good things so I tried to stop laughing.
When I was passionate many people stopped engaging in conversation with me, so I worked at being bland and abiding by life’s dichotomy of good and bad.
The protective armor of rust I built served me for many years. But at some point it stopped serving me and simply became a weight that slowed me down and kept me from what I really wanted to do.
What I Learned In The Autumn Of My Life
Now, and for years, I spend my time unlearning the limiting beliefs that I had, such as the overly simplistic construct of good and bad. I now know there are very few objective truths.
I’ve been joyously scraping back to my original surface: a happy, rosy cheeked child/adult who finds humor in the darkest of moments, who finds joy in playing in the mud, who revels in schmaltzy and who loves easily.
Who is your wonderful original self? Who is the person you were before you thought you should be someone else? Let her shine.
photo credit: from i’mjustcreative.com
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
What an insightful post, Cherry. I agree with all you’ve said here. Being what others want you to be is a burden that weighs you down until exhausted, you have to fling it off and rest. And when you rest you realize you don’t need that burden after all. You can get where you’re going just as well without it and get there quicker to boot! So glad you threw yours off. :-)
Thanks Alison. Trying to be someone other that who I am is like having 5 wet blankets draped over me. It requires a lot of energy and vigilance.
Always good to hear from you, Cherry