Door opens.
“Hi Cherry,” says Doris, smiling.
Laughter bursts loudly from deep within me.
Your words have a larger impact than you imagine.
“You look like a bumble bee,” are my unfiltered and inappropriate first words.
Doris is no longer smiling.
“Damn, damn, damn,” I think. “I hurt her feelings.”
The next 3 minutes I spend back-peddling, apologizing, soothing.
To use Jennifer Reed’s words in an article in this month’s Success Magazine, I had just used my power for evil. Evil’s a harsh term for words that seem to fly out of your mouth of their own volition, but the truth is Doris never wore the outfit she had on that day again in her life.
Your Words Impact Much More Than The Clothes People Wear
The story of Patricia Buitrago in Are You Using Your Power For Good Or Evil begins with her winning a Fort Myers, Florida community award for teaching.
Patricia almost didn’t became a teacher because of the words of her 10th grade math teacher. In fact, his careless words influenced Patricia to give up her dream of college for 17 years.
“You don’t understand math. You shouldn’t even think about college,” he told her. Then he sent her to a lower-level math class.
“Patricia cried all the way to her new class. She’d been raised to believe in the wisdom of teachers and took his words to heart. The straight A’s she received in her other courses dropped to solid C’s.
‘I gave up,’ she remembers.”
Our Words Have Hidden Superpowers
You may not think of yourself as an influencer – a person of power – but you are.
Think of the number of people you encounter in a day: family members, friends, co-workers, clerks in a store, people in your community, people on-line. What you say is heard and felt by each of them. Like a stone dropped in a pool of water, your words ripple outward and have a larger impact than you imagine.
Michael Hyatt, Chairman of Thomas Nelson Publishers, tells the story of when he was in 9th grade his family moved from Texas to Nebraska. He was the new kid in school and on his first day in the cafeteria a kid exclaimed “Man! You have one BIG nose!” Hyatt continued by saying that from that day forward when he would look in the mirror all he saw was his nose. It now dwarfed all his other features. In his mind he was simply a walking nose. It took years before he started to see and think of himself as more than just a big nose.
Using Your Superpower For Good
I gave 3 examples of how people’s words had a far-reaching negative effect on another person. The stories may have made you think of a time when you were hurt by someone’s words. Did you also think about the negative effect random words of yours may have had on another?
But your words, and mine, can also provide someone the courage to press on.
When I was student teaching at a combined middle school and high school I had an encounter with a 6th grader who was experiencing school-phobia. In other words, she was panicked by her new, large, easy-to get-lost-in school. I was in the library when I saw a little girl’s mother drop her off at school, quickly driving away on the large circular drive hoping to force her daughter to stay at school. Her distraught mother had no idea what else to do. (The guidance counselor and others had already attempted to help).
Then I saw the red-headed girl with baby-fat still on her body take off running across the center circle of grass, hoping to catch up with her mom. I was a couple seconds behind her. With much longer legs than she, I quickly caught up with Claudia. I don’t remember what I said: as is often the case, the speaker’s words mean nothing to them. But my words influenced her. She came inside with me.
The assistant principal saw that Claudia had connected with my words and me. He allowed her to sit in the back of my classroom for the rest of the day. Over the next two weeks I met her every morning and walked her to her class. But the following week I wouldn’t be at the school. I gave her a worry-bird charm that I wore on a necklace. I told her that bird would hold her worries for her and she should touch it when she wanted to think of me.
Claudia never ran away from school again. She graduated, married and became a mother. I know all this because she wrote to me for years.
Your words are powerful. They can give someone the courage to press on.
Ways To Ignite Your Superpower
- Be intentional with the words you use. Think before you speak.
- Consider the impact your words could have on the other person. Might the words hurt him or her?
- Use encouraging rather than discouraging words.
- Don’t speak out of anger or spite.
- If you’re too tired to monitor your words, choose another time to give feedback.
- Have high expectations for your ability to have a positive impact.
- Think about the type of words that hurt you. Empower you. Be conscious of that difference when you speak to others.
I believe you can positively impact another person’s life and increase their confidence. You probably already have.
Be the kind of person you want to see in the world.
I’d appreciate if you’d take the time to share one of your stories of the power of words in the comment section. It’s a great way to provide inspiration to others and spread your influence. It will start a domino effect of positive words.
Sending loving thoughts, Cherry
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
your words made me feel so much better today. thank you so very much! truly. just what i needed to ‘hear,’ read…
i LOVE this blog!
xoxox
Thanks Amy. I’m glad my blog helped. xoxox back at you, Cherry
Cherry – I love your blog, it is so inspirational and written from your heart that sounds as if many maturing experiences have come to you in your lifetime.
Again, you have written, simple, beautiful and inspirational words. Um, trying to think of the power of words in my life….
I remember when I was in first grade. I had just begun the new grade, didn’t really know what things were all about. I was so young! Sitting in the class room, having fun without thinking abt being “bad” ….just one of the boys were tickled two of us girl’s armpits when we raised our hand to answer a question, which of course escalated into us giggling and being tickled more. Mrs. Hedlund was my first grade teacher. She was an older teacher. I thought she was ancient back then, she looked older than my grandmother! She scolded us, and we had to stay after school (my one and only time…lol!). I started to cry as I sat after school. But she hugged me, and just said, oh, you don’t have to cry and then I felt better. I had felt like an outcast like I did something terribly bad, but then it was all cleared up! Thanks, Mrs. Hedlund!
thanks, Cherry!
Thanks for the compliments Kathy.
Think about this – your story is from 1st grade but you still remember the words your teacher said. That put some exclamation points on “words have an impact larger than we realize.” Thanks for sharing. Cherry
Hi Cherry -
I know it’s funny I remember that incident from first grade like it happened yesterday. If she had just been a “mean” teacher, I would’ve remembered the incident much differently. But instead I have a distinct picture of me sitting in her lap on her teachers chair behind her desk and her hugging me. So sad that nowadays teachers aren’t supposed to hug kids.
Hey Kath,
It is sad that teachers can’t hug kids. A kind touch can help so much.
Giving you a hug right now, hope you feel it, Cherry
What a wonderful message.
Being kind doesn’t matter what others say or do is such a beautiful journey.
Choosing to have a great attitude and making that a habit will empower ourselves and others in so many ways.
Beautiful post.
Thank you.
Lorena
You are welcome Lorena. Thank you for stopping by and commenting. Enjoy your day and may it be filled with wonderfully kind words. Cherry
Your encouraging words made a huge impact on Claudia. Schools should always be safe havens for kids, especially when middle school can be so overwhelming. Yesterday my son wanted to play basketball at the middle school in our city–I looked around and said a silent prayer that in two years time it will be a welcome place for him.
Oh, the power of words. Think before you speak. Or if you can’t do that–use your inner voice so the words bounce around your brain, if you cannot think of something nice to say.
That’s so heartbreaking about Michael and his nose. I think I’ll read this to my son–sometimes hearing life lessons from others packs more of an impact.
Thanks for another wonderful post, Cherry:).
Thanks Linda. I was also lucky with Claudia; yes she felt my sincerity & understanding and the timing was right for her to hear that.
If you show it to your son, let me know his response. Cherry
This could be my favorite of all your posts, Cherry. The power of words is indisputable and your point about being intentional about when, where, and how we use them is incredibly important. You don’t have to read much history or watch public debate to see what words can do–the good and the evil. I have a dear friend who was once a steno on my staff. She’s a bright, well-read and insightful person who was told by the nuns in grade school that she’d “never be anything but a secretary.” Well, she believed them and she became a darn good one, except she always wanted to be an elementary school teacher. And she would have been a fabulous one, but those early limiting words halted those dreams. Great post, ~Dawn
I recently received a facebook message from a ‘kid’ I was a camp counselor for thirty-some years ago. I was a high school kid with a summer job. I don’t remember her. However, she regaled me in her note with thing I had said and done (fortunately all positive). I wonder what influence I must have had that she so vividly remembers me 30+ years later.
Conversely, I often think of my 7th grade math teacher, Mrs Eckard; who told me I was ‘too stupid to do math’ and that I should take my required math to graduate but no more. I took math every year of High School, and two years in College (just to prove her wrong)! However, I never start a math problem, even today, without her words ringing in my ears!
It is important for us all to remember encouraging take no more effort than discouraging.
Very touching post. Words sure do have a big impact. I always loved art and design (I also love what I do now too!) When I was in high school, I couldn’t wait to start art class. Within the first two days, that art teacher made a couple of off-hand comments that made me think I had zero capability. I dropped the class and never tried my hand at anything artistic until I was into my forties. I’m not fantastic, but I do have a knack for unusual color combinations and an eye for design. The first time I showed my work (only because my husband pushed me) I won first place at a reputable art association. Who knew? I hope all teachers realize the power of their words.
And so we, too, should recognize the power of our words to others. Everyone is trying to move along this journey in the best way they can. We can all offer words of encouragement and support; every day. Thanks for the reminder.
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
Terry,
I’m so glad your husband pushed you to show your work. Congratulations on 1st place. I am so glad you won, to give you the validation to know that you do have artistic abilities.
Many teachers don’t realize the impact their words have on students. I’ve heard many stories like that with art teachers, in particular. In elementary school my sons’ art work (as well as many other students) was never displayed in the hallway. To this day they won’t make any attempt at drawing or painting or anything along those lines. I agree that their work was not the best but in those early stages I believe all kids need encouragement. They already know they’re not the best artists but could they be encouraged for a love of trying and simply enjoying painting. Or maybe they were late bloomers in eye hand coordination. I don’t know. Nor will they. Unfortunate all the way around. Hope you stop by again, Cherry
[...] lives was fresh in my mind because I had the day before read a blog post by Cherry Woodburn ‘Learn About Your Hidden Superpower & Use It For Good’ where she talks about how we influence others in our every day [...]