I’ve moved, partially, to Arlington, Virginia, USA.
In December, the month of my birth, I will fully give birth to my life in Virginia.
I’m leaving the familiar womb of Bethlehem, PA where I gestated for over 50 years. Obviously I didn’t want to come out; I needed to be induced and that came in the form of a granddaughter.
A wonderful, funny, happy and gorgeous granddaughter who’s picture I want to show you but the foster care system won’t allow any pictures of her on the Internet. My son and daughter-in-law are in the process of adopting 4 year old Ellie after she arrived at their home in the middle of the night at the age of 2.
If she can grow and thrive with that dramatic change, I can grow and thrive in this one.
I’ll miss my friends (especially the one I talk to daily — you know who you are). Thank goodness cell phones and Skype work from Virginia too.
Getting Out Of A Rut
I needed wanted to be shaken out of a rut I had created over the last couple of years. It was easier to stay in my routines than change them. My brain liked the ease of being on automatic pilot; the rest of me really didn’t. I’d have concurrent thoughts: one stream rationalized my behavior, while the other stream berated myself for not following through with growing my business of Borderless Thinking® for women.
When I’m in the flow of helping women, I feel alive, electric, jazzed about what I’m doing.
- So why wasn’t I developing more programs to help women increase their confidence and courage?
- Why, instead, was I throwing my legs over a chair and reading a mystery?
- Why wasn’t I designing a webinar and getting myself into the flow that energizes me?
- Why instead was I saying I could save money by painting my vacant apartment myself?
<sigh> I was choosing the path of least resistance. Doing what I wanted required a new routine, which meant effort.
The irony is that “staying put” and not being happy about it also takes effort. It saps your energy. It makes you question your self-worth.
I bemoaned my lack of motivation. I wanted to take my skills and experience from decades of consulting on employee programs in corporations, and volunteering with women’s organization, to do the work I always wanted to do. Help women. Help them see their potential AND act on it. Mentor them into believing in themselves and who they were, and then stepping into all sorts of possibilities for themselves.
I believe in myself. I know I’m good at what I do but I’d worn a rut of inertia into my life. I needed to step out of that rut.
Changes I Made To Help With “THE” Change
I now have a property manager for my several apartments. It is heaven. He’s taking care of the details for converting one building from oil to gas. He’s making sure the new windows are ordered and put in. He deals with the tenants. It is so freeing.
I’m renting in Virgina. That means no shoveling snow, no yard work. If I want a garden I can become part of a Community Garden. I don’t have to do much of anything – except focus on my business and, of course, my granddaughter. Both are the same really. I want to help females feel good about themselves. Know that they’re loved. Know that they can do whatever they want. Know that when they’re feeling overwhelmed with choices, they just need to choose something.
That’s what I did. I made a choice. I got out of the rut. Will Virginia be the “right” choice? I don’t know but I’ll find out. If it’s not, than I’ll try something else. But anyway I look at this, I’m helping women:
- me
- Ellie
- and you, if you’d like. Sign up for a free mentoring call.
I’ll be your confidence buddy.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
Ha! Everything you just wrote is exactly what I am doing by reading your post instead of…too many to list!.. And I am sure glad I did take the time to read it. Your play on words is wonderful. And the story itself is beautiful in many ways. I especially like the fact of a new granddaughter who will delight you and be delighted by you. FYI, I was born and raised in Newport, RI. By raised, I mean FOREVER – UNTIL, I packed up and picked up and moved to Florida seven years ago. It is where Life “told” me to go, so I know it is right. I wish you all the best, Cherry. I admire and respect you. All best wishes on your amazing new adventure! Deb McCarthy (Soul Caller)
Thank you for the good wishes Deb.
How did life tell you to move to Florida? And you still feel, 7 years later, that it was the right decision for you? Cherry
If there is anyone who can relate to being caught in a rut, It’s Moi. Lots of it has to do with what Cherry has talked about before–a lack of confidence–in myself, which then leads to analysis-paralysis (another type of inertia/rut).
It’s super to have “pushes” like these posts to remind you
A. Your not alone
B. You can overcome it
C. Have someone to help you through it like Cherry
BTW, if you’re reading this and haven’t started listening to some of the interviews in the confidence chronicles, I highly recommend this one http://borderlessthinking.com/2011/11/interview-maggie-bauer-a-gluten-free-story-confidence-chronicles/
Now it’s time to get back to filling in those ruts!
Pam,
I use to live the Analysis-Paralysis inertia but it’s rare anymore.
It’s interesting to note that I’ve been told, or sometimes think it myself, that I’m an impulsive decision maker. But all in all I don’t think that’s true. And even if it is impulsive, it doesn’t have to carry a negative connotation nor do I “need” to be concerned what others think about how I make my choices.
Cherry, This line is one powerful perspective on taking on change: You say about Ellie’s change of family,”If she can grow and thrive with that dramatic change, I can grow and thrive in this one.”
Being brave is a commitment to yourself, a life well lived, and a belief that there’s always more ahead. You are a true inspiration, Cherry, both by your words, the women’s voices that you bring to your posts, and your own deeds. It isn’t easy to walk the talk, but sure looks like you’ve got some mean street boots on!
Thanks for this special post, ~Dawn
Dawn,
Thank you for your kind words. I want to walk my talk and have to check in with myself regularly to make sure I’m doing that. Cherry
Hi Cherry -
What delightful news! Congratulations on your new granddaughter! And congrats on your property manager!
I am thinking if hiring a VA…I think it will be heaven not to have to do all the work myself..
your story has inspired me!
Have fun in Virginia!
Much love, Kathy
Go for the VA Kathy. You deserve it and it will free you for so many other things that require your skills and/or that you enjoy. Hugs, Cherry
Happy new digs, Cherry!
I like your point about how doing nothing saps our energy, and likely wastes more than if we hunker down and summon our energy into productive work.
Yay! on the property manager front. My mom and step-dad used to own apartments and my step-dad did all the maintenance. I could never understand why they didn’t just hire someone as they had the means.
I guess doing grunt work is a socially acceptable way of avoiding the things that really move us, as scary as they may seem.
Congrats on baby Ellie–what a wonderful gift you’re giving her :).
Linda,
re:property mgmt. In addition to avoidance, doing your own repairs, painting etc. let’s you see the results of your work and is less draining than sitting and thinking. Sometimes it can be meditiative.
Thanks about Ellie. She’s the cat’s meow. Cherry
Cherry,
This is fantastic! I think it’s hard for strong women to recognize they too (like everyone else) need help. And I think it’s even more fantastic that it’s your granddaughter who’s the helping hand here (or the push you needed, however you want to look at it!). What a great story that will make for her some day. And I wish you could tell us more of hers–a two year old showing up in the middle of the night! It sounds like your next journey is about to begin…I’m so glad we’ll be able to go along with you. Looking forward to seeing where you go.
Thanks Jen. It is exciting news. Friday night was a sleepover with Ellie. So many games! So much giggling!