You’ve been aging since the day you were born.
Copyright All rights reserved by WeeMeng.Lee
People saw it as cute then. “Oh she’s grown so much.”
Aging was even seen as normal. “She’s now in the 75 percentile for her age in height! Another basketball player in the family.”
There were no campaigns against you aging. In fact, your family, teachers and community encouraged it.
You paid no attention to the products that reversed the dreaded aging process; you even chose things that sped it up – cigarettes, alcohol.
When Did Your Attitudes & Mindset About Aging Change?
For Hannah Burge, her attitude about aging was already negative at age 16 years old [her age in 2010, at the time of this quote]. She said “I wanted to have Botox for two reasons – it prevents wrinkles and everyone at my school was talking about having “B”.
I had a couple of lines on my forehead and around my mouth, which I was unhappy about.’ Appearance is important to me and I don’t want to look haggard and ugly by the time I’m 25.”
Nuts isn’t it…or is it?
Perhaps if I’d starting using “B” at age 16 years old, I wouldn’t be looking my age, 62 years old on December 19, now.
And it is crystal clear that in American society looking your age anytime after 50, perhaps even 40 years old, is not desirable.
I remember walking into rooms and having people notice me. Not anymore. Now I’m virtually invisible.
It’s as if wrinkles on your face, gray in your hair mean you no longer have anything to offer.
Au contraire. Au – fucking – contraire.
Copyright All rights reserved by The Rabbit Burrow
I, and others in my age group and beyond, still have tremendous things to offer.
Experience.
Wisdom.
A historical perspective.
As well as the basics I’ve always had to offer:
A sense of humor.
A listening ear.
Compassion.
Open mindedness.
A good brain.
Angeles Arrien, cultural anthropologist, in her book, The Second Half of Life, says:
“We need to consciously shift our cultural perspective. It is time. To know that things must change, we have only to look at the shocking fact that America has the world’s highest suicide rate among elders. We can no longer ignore the wisdom that is irrevocably lost to future generations when our elders are marginalized or rendered invisible. The more challenging our world, the more we need our elders with us to share the lessons they have learned, to lend us their problem-solving skills, and to enhance our lives by imparting their gifts.”
What’s your perspective on aging? What will you do to stop the disparaging stereotypes of aging and “light a path for future generations”?
I want to hear from you here. Or on Twitter. Or Facebook. Let’s start the conversation.
I would love to get to know you! Join me on 
I hear ya!
I’m 52 and sometime in the last 10 years I’ve become invisible, a “grandpa”, or worse;)
Though right now I’m probably in the best shape of my life, the lowest bodyfat of my life, and with the best blood numbers of my life.
Shift in Cultural Perspective will require a couple billion people to agree with us though …
Thanks
Crazy isn’t it Charles?! Why should anyone be invisible just because they age; and, to think that people are “seeing” a healthier man than they did 10 years ago and yet they’re not “seeing” him at all.
Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Cherry
Great article. I’m sixty and have more to offer than I ever had. I would love to see everyone own their age. One shouldn’t be ashamed to say how old they are. We need to nurture a pride in aging. My goodness, why is it a shame in this country to be old and wise? I look younger, but I sure let all know my true age.
Thanks Rebecca. I have no idea why it became a shame in this country to get old…and who defines when that is? I still think it has a lot to do with the billion dollar business in the pharmaceutical, beauty and cosmetic surgery businesses. If we accept looking our age, they’re finances take a big hit. It is to their advantage to promote a youth culture. Thanks for stopping by, Cherry
Suicide among the elderly? Sheesh. I find it very hard to relate to the comments about Botox from teenagers. I am nearly 48 and think I look better and can offer more now than I could when I was younger. I’ve read that men’s achievements peak in their late 30s and early 40s while for women it is 60. I have no idea if this is true or a researched fact but it gives me hope and anticipation for the future. The media perspective that women are redundant at 40 pains me…
No way we’re redundant at 40. So utterly ridiculous.
YOu are a beauty Alison, inside and out. I always enjoy your perspective. Cherry
A great and throught-provoking post. I suspect that if we concentrate our energies on finding our best ways to remain relevant in society instead of focusing on looks, we’d find the satisfaction we need. ~Dawn
Your point is well taken Dawn. I also think that it can be difficult to focus our energies on being relevant if many in society think that older women don’t have much to offer. Relevance can’t be accomplished just by our believing in ourselves, people must also be willing to listen to us as well. (even if they ultimately disagree with us) Cherry
And style!!: http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/
I also recall thinking, reading through Cosmo at 16 yrs old, that I needed wrinkle cream. Oy.
Glad to feel full ownership of my body and mind at 41.
A wrinkle cream at 16, that’s nuts but good for the cosmetic industry.
Happy to read that you “feel full ownership of my body and mind at 41.” Cherry
In my work as a couples therapist experience is very important, so being and looking older is a good thing.
If you could choose your age how old would you like to be? 16?, 35? or your current age? To answer honestly you can’t bring maturity and experience back in time.
My answer is 35 – 45 (I am 54), but then again, that has more to do with health and being a mother with small children than life experience.
This question also reminds me why spending time with people of different ages is beneficial for us all – we learn from each other!
“This question also reminds me why spending time with people of different ages is beneficial for us all – we learn from each other!” So true Irene, so true.
Hi Cherry -
Another thought provoking post. I have to agree with Irene, in my profession counseling people with relationship and parenting issues, I have found my age to be an asset. I think it would be difficult for people to really trust a younger, single person as a marriage and family counselor. So, while I may not attract as much attention as I used to when I was younger when I walked into a room, I have found that my age and experience has really helped me in my profession. However, I do agree with you that, in our society, the potential contributions and the actual life contributions of older people in general are discounted in our society.
Kathy,
I can see irene and your point. Thankfully you are appreciated for your wisdom and experience. Cherry