The Confidence Chronicles – True Stories Of Becoming Strong interview series was a tremendous success in 2011. I feel confident (how appropos) that the success will continue in 2012.
I’m excited that first-up for 2012 is Tara Gentile. Tara’s in the business of helping entrepreneurs turn their passion into profit. She collaborates with clients to actualize their dreams, their vision, their ideas and turn them into dollars and cents.
And she’s good at it. Her increasing business success over the past two years is a testimony to the caliber of work she does.
Listening to this interview you’ll hear Tara’s candor, wit and intellect. I had fun doing the interview; I hope you have as much fun hearing it.
I decided to break this interview into three or so parts, so that each section is short – heeding the needs of my readers’ busy lives. For those of you who enjoy listening, there will be the tape; for those who prefer reading or are hearing impaired, I provided an edited transcript.
Cherry: Hi, Tara. Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed for “The Confidence Chronicles: True Stories of Becoming Strong. I really appreciate that you’re doing this.
Tara: You bet. Thank you so much for having me.
Cherry: You’re welcome. You said that your business-coaching work is humming along and has grown dramatically over the past year or so. Even with that success, people can question themselves and have self doubts. I was wondering if you could talk about where you find you have self doubts even with your successful business.
Tara: Paradoxically, my increased confidence is feeding self-doubts. In other words, because I’m more confident in myself than I probably ever have been, I’m trying more new things, taking more risks, which makes for increased opportunities for self doubt.
My success means I’m getting amazing opportunities thrown my way. I get contacted by amazing clients and I think, “No, wait you mean me? Me, who? Me?” or, “You want me to speak where?” Replying to those requests are times when I have to examine my internal monologue; I have to literally stop and say to myself, “Why me?”…”Because I’m awesome.”Or “Because I can really help.” Or “Because I really have a message to deliver.”
Right now self doubt definitely creeps in the most when I am put face to face with someone I see as extremely successful or extremely impactful, and they’re looking for help from me, which is an empowering place to be, but it’s also a place that is scary as hell.
But it’s good. I enjoy it too.
Cherry: What kind of things do you do to get past that, to get past the self-doubts and negative internal dialogue?
Tara: If I’m presented with a client, for instance, who I think I’m not the right person for, or they’re way ahead of me and I don’t have something to offer, I go check out their website.
I see what they’re doing. And if I can come up with 2 or 3 or 4 or 10 ideas for them, just from looking at their website, or just from what they state as their goals, it’s a lot easier for me to get over that initial self doubt. It’s almost like it’s just an initial shock but then I can come at a response with a really measured, intentional, confident attitude.
That really always me to make a sale or to take the relationship to the next level. Yeah, so I, I come at it very scientifically. I ask myself: “Is this truth?”, “Is this reality?” or “Is this is an assumption?” Am I assuming that I’m not the right person? Am I assuming that they are above me or beyond me, or do I have real actionable things to offer.
And the answer to that question so far has always been yes. And so you know, I step ahead with that in mind.
Cherry: That’s a good way to deal with your doubting inner dialogue. I’m sure the answer to your questions will continue to be yes.
I mean, certainly there are things that, at this point in time, you can’t do, but it never means you can’t offer help to somebody. It’s surprising the different areas where somebody else may have expertise that you or I don’t have, but they’re weak in an area where we’re strong.
Tara: Exactly. That made me think of something else. Sometimes my self-doubt is kind of couched in jealousy or envy, because I see these potential clients in their successful position and I see what they’ve accomplished, and I’m like, well, I’m not there yet. That’s what I want, I want to get there, so how can I help them get to the next level if I haven’t achieved that yet. But what I’ve found is that challenging myself through working through those type of situations, they actually get me to those positions more quickly. And I can ask myself, is what they have a priority for me or is this just something that I think I might want. Is this accomplishment, is this achievement something that’s important to me, or really not so much? And can I still operate from a place of power and influence and service without that accomplishment.
Sometimes my answer is one way sometimes it’s another way. I try to honor whatever the real answer – for me – is.
I love, love, love ending this portion of the interview with Tara’s statement about honoring yourself. That’s what you need to do; what I need to do. Honor ourselves and what’s true for us, as Tara is doing. The “real” answer to “what is success?” is the definition YOU chose.